Impression Management
Professionals

If, however, a person asks you an awkward question that you feel does require an answer in front of the audience, first try to clarify the question. You might say to them, "So your concern is...?" Or, "How does that relate to ...?" Or, "Are you asking me ...?"

With these questions you often find that what you thought they were asking and what they are really asking are two different things.

There are a few exceptions to this, however, which I will explain to you later when we talk about hostile audiences.

As an executive you are the driver of corporate culture. If you are a manager then you drive the culture of your team. So if you don't like what behaviors you are seeing in your corporation or team, look at what messages you may be sending unknowingly that are allowing these behaviors to happen.

Remember it is not so important to train your team on what to do. It is far more important to train them on who they need to be in order to do what they need to do!

Clarity in your opening lets the audience know EXACTLY why they are there and how your information will be relevant to them.

In order to ensure you have clarity in your opening ask yourself, "did I share in ONE to TWO sentences why this is relevant to them and what they will be able to do with this information?" 

These have to be SPOKEN sentences, they can not be implied.

Statements that have clarity include:

"You will leave here knowing how to handle client complaints in a proactive manner."

"In this time you will be able to see why we can't continue to operate the way we have and how this new system will help you be more productive and less stressed."

The first few minutes in front of the audience are crucial.  The more enticing you are the more they will be captivated to hear what you have to say.

Being able to share an event and then twist the ending can draw them in.  For example, you may share a story by starting, "Imagine if..." and at the end you say, "now what if that was true. What if I told you that was what happened to me." This way you have brought them in to the story, let them experience it as though it is happening to them and then let them know it is a true story and it happened to you.

Take an every day occurrence and relate it to what you are talking about.  This moves them from fighting against what you are saying to seeing the logic of it.  The ironic part is that they "see" this logic because they "felt" it in your opening.

An example of this would be "In America we put stoplights at intersections and you have to wait to get the green light so your side can go.  In Italy they have roundabouts.  So when you hit a spot where four or more roads come together in the middle is a circle.  You drive around the circle until you come to the road you need to exit on and you just continue driving.  With the Italian roundabout you never have to stop and you can circle as many times as you want until you get the correct direction.  In the past our projects have been run like American stoplights where you have waited for the green light to go.  Now we will be running them like the Italian roundabouts where you will see continuous movement and many areas coming together for a brief time before they all branch out." 

"Today what I am here to talk about is how this new process will work, why we are doing it and how it will benefit you."

Let's imagine a different scenario. You are presenting to your management team why they ought to fund your new project. You should begin by clearly telling them what to expect out of the meeting with you. You might say something like, "If our company is to reach its projected profitability, then we need to look at whether our website is hurting or helping us. I believe that our current website is actually hurting our business and I'll share with you today why we need to invest in a brand-new website."

At the close, because you've had in-depth interaction with them throughout the presentation, you should recap the key buy buttons you saw the group latch on to and then say, "Looking at the four reasons I just gave, it sounds like we are all in consensus that we need to go ahead and tackle a new website. If we can just sign off today on the new plan for the $150,000, I can get started on it immediately."

What this close allows you to do is to get your project immediately approved. It also ensures that all objections are raised right now at the table, instead of after you leave the room. Therefore, you now have the advantage of being present to handle any objections.

And the best part is that you're going to use their logic and their reasons for the new website to combat any objections.

You can do this by saying something like, "Due to the time constraint, I will hold questions until the end of the session. For any of you that would like additional coaching, I will remain afterwards and we can set up a time to work one-on-one. This will allow us to keep the pace for the entire group and also to respect the needs for each individual. I appreciate everyone's cooperation with this."

• Try to think from the person's perspective why they may not be open to new ideas, and address it before they do.
• Start the meeting by creating a safe environment for people to let go of old ideas and latch on to new ones. You may start with something like this: "What I would like us to do in today's meeting is to embrace some ideas that may feel uncomfortable, radical, or even impossible. I believe our greatest growth comes from our ability to let go of the past and use it to leapfrog into the future. Making this shift can be uncomfortable. So I ask all of you today to be willing to let go of the past and to listen to some new ideas. I want to take these ideas, spin them around from different perspectives, and see what we need to do to embrace them and move forward."
• By saying something like this, you are letting the group know right up front what you expect of them and how you'll proceed. This will help keep most of the "naysayers" more positive.

If all else fails, the next time you are interrupted simply say, "You have some great questions and I want to make sure I respect and answer each of them. So why don't you see me afterwards and I'll give you some more in-depth answers. Now let's move on and keep the flow going." Most likely they will not come to you afterwards because their whole goal of interrupting was to shift attention from you to them.

The two people who's emails I open are Jack Canfield and Jeffrey Gitomer.

Jeffrey's because I know he always hits on hard content, value and has no fluff.  His information is designed to help you period.  Jack Canfield because knowing Jack personally I see the integrity with which he does all things. 

Therefore, I know if he sends me something it is something he has read or done, not just something he is endorsing because someone asked him to.

Ask yourself, if your emails, newsletters, or letters have the kind of content rich information that make people WANT to open it!

If for some reason they cannot get the decision maker, Jody in the room, then the next question you need to ask is, "So thinking of Jody, what are some of the questions and challenges she will throw at you in regards to (list what you are trying to implement)?"

This will get the person you are meeting with to think from Jody's perspective instead of their own, and ask you some more challenging questions. It will also give you a good chance to learn what Jody may be like and offer suggestions on how to proceed.

If a person dwells on a question, and you really don't want to go there, simply say, "That's a great question. Because I want to respect the time constraints that we have here today, what I will do is go ahead with the presentation and answer that question for you in the back of the room at the end of the session. For now, let's continue with..."  People will often try to stop you with difficult questions solely because they want to have airtime. They will rarely meet you in the back of the room afterwards.

• Questions must be separated and put in individual lines so it is easy for the reader to see all the questions they need to answer. If you put questions embedded within a paragraph, they'll be easily missed and you will end up playing email tag with this person.
• Any time you reply to an email, change the subject line to indicate what you are sending back to them or what you expect of them. This ends the cycle of e-mails in your inbox that have subject lines like: "Re: Re: Project Johnson." You can see how having multiple e-mails with just "re:" in the front of the subject line will not help you when you need to retrieve one in a series of five e-mails. You may write an e-mail that goes to a person with the subject line saying, "What I need for the Johnson project by September 12." They may e-mail you back with the subject line, "Re: what I need for the Johnson project-2 answers and one question for you." You can see that when receiving this, you would know right away that you need to answer two questions and that they still need some information from you.

Don't write an email in order to get things off your chest. Instead, think about how the other person needs to use your information, what kind of time limitations they have, and that you respect them.

In a presentation where you're trying to get people to embrace change, start the presentation by talking about their world as it is today. Then talk about a time in your life that was made more comfortable by a change, or a time when the company made a change and significant results were achieved. This allows everyone in the audience to realize that you understand their situation, but you're also acknowledging that change must happen.

Redirect them from focusing on if they like the change or not, to focusing on how  we will get the change implemented with the least disruption to all. Always keep in mind that people aren't trying to resist you or the change; they are trying to remain competent and keep their world under control.  So help them see how this change will be a minor disruption but a real assistance in the long run.

Fig leafing is when you clasp one hand within the other and then drop them down the front of you till they rest at full length.

It got its name because it is similar to Adam and Eve holding the fig leaves in front of them to hide their nakedness.

When you fig leaf, your shoulders naturally slope down and you look less confident.  Keep your shoulders relaxed but strong when speaking.

Those first eight minutes when you establish rapport with your audience is the time when you need to tell them how to interact with you with questions. If you do not want interruptions during your talk, you should say something like, "For the next 45 minutes I will be sharing with you how to take Six Sigma back into your organization. I have saved the last 15 minutes for any questions that you may have. So please, if a question comes up just jot it down and I will commit those last 15 minutes to answering questions."

If you want the audience to interrupt you freely with questions then say, "Please feel free at any time to interrupt me with your questions. I commit to making sure that we stay on time so if there is any question that requires too long of a reply, I will briefly answer and then ask you to see me later so I can give you more details. This will ensure that everyone can ask questions and no one will feel they're holding the group up."

If you are a presenter that tends to roam around the audience, you can walk over and stand by the negative person. This often gets them to change their behavior because they become uncomfortable having everyone's eyes on them.

In worst case scenarios, you may have to ask the negative person to leave. In my fifteen years of speaking, I have only had to do this once, with two individuals from one company. Ironically, the company had hired me to help them improve the morale of workers and their interaction with leaders. Two of the individuals did not want to be there. One sat slumped in his seat while the other one sat with his back to the room and stared out the window. At one point, the question was asked, "How should I handle it when a customer asks me to work on a project but they haven't gone through the proper channels to get a number assigned to the project? And a number needs to be assigned to the project in order for us to properly track time and pay." Mr. Negative turned around from staring out the window and said, "This is just a bunch of bullshit. I just tell the customer we can't do that and I hang up on them."

At this point, you could have heard a pin drop in the room. And all eyes moved to me to see how I would respond to the situation. I knew, because of the topic we were covering, that my primary goal as presenter was to make the room safe for people to ask difficult questions. And Mr. Negative had just killed that safe environment.

So, I used Outcome Thinking® to address with the group what we were trying to accomplish and how they needed to act in order for us to achieve that. I then gave them the option to stay or leave, but if they stayed they were agreeing to participate positively.

Then I gave the group a 15-minute break so they could choose whether they wanted to stay or leave. At this point I had only been speaking for about forty minutes, so we were not really at a point in a full-day session where you would normally take a break.

Ironically though, every single person came back, and the two negative people sat up front and participated. The feedback forms that came back to me repeatedly said, "Thanks for making it a safe environment to talk."

Here are Two Key strategies to keep in mind when negotiating:

1. Have a game plan or strategy.
   Your game plan or strategy is a starting point -- a brief outline of what you would like to accomplish and how.  It is not a rigid rulebook to be applied throughout the negotiation.  It is instead a guideline that allows you a place to start.
   
   Remember, you are working with another human being, someone who doesn't appreciate being backed into a corner any more than you would. Set a strategy with clear goals and possible tactics but be willing to revise it as circumstances and interests warrant.
    
2. Begin with the right mindset.
   Most people go into negotiations thinking one of two things:
   
   "I have to win at all cost.  I don't want to look stupid.  I have done my homework and, by gosh, I know what X, Y, and Z cost.  I am not going to be taken advantage of!" 
   
   Or
   
   "Please, please, just be reasonable and give me X, Y and Z without a hassle.  I really don't want to fight with you over this."

Do you see any problem with these approaches?

Each one has faith in you but not the other party.

That immediately makes negotiation difficult. If you believe the other party will try to take advantage of you, then you lose you biggest edge - the perception that the other person will do anything they can do to help you.

You need to start with the mindset that we are both here to achieve a mutual outcome and we just need to figure out how to remove the barriers to that outcome.  Trust me, people can tell whether you believe in the best or worst of them. They will try to live up to either expectation.

This leads us to the case, though, where a person believes they are an expert but in your eyes they are not. In that situation, what you really want to do is to be able to have them focus on the fact that we can always improve and bring things to the next level. Get them to focus on how true experts are always fine tuning their craft and continuing to practice so they improve. You might use the example of professional athletes and how, even though they know how to bat, they do batting practice over and over so they become more skilled at what they do. And this often means they are getting continued advice on the fundamentals of batting. Tell them that today you are going to cover the fundamentals of ____ and that you want them to use the expertise to challenge themselves.

What is Outcome Thinking®? “Outcome Thinking® is the ability to focus on an outcome desired and then speak from the other person’s perspective on how and why to reach that outcome. It is a way of thinking that produces a new result with how others see you, hear you and connect with you. The most ironic part is that if focuses less on you yet it draws people more to you.”
 
Outcome Thinking® differs from most communication. There are three communication stoppers that keep most of us communicating in a “ME” communication style. There are three key principles and they shatter each communication stopper. These three principles are the key elements to success with Outcome Thinking®. The previous definition is found in Anne Warfield’s book Outcome Thinking®: Getting Results without the boxing gloves. Order Your Copy Today!

Say something like this: "When Alexander Graham Bell tried to sell his phone to Western Union, he was told that there would be no use for it. Yet today, tell me, who in here would be lost without your cell phone? Today I am going to be talking about some new ideas, and there may be times where you want to say 'There's no use for it.' But I'm going to ask that we all try to keep an open mind and look for the possibilities and not the obstacles. So let's get started."

Here are some examples of Principles:

1. First, determine how you would like the customer to view your organization.  Do you want your customer to rave about you, to see you as the best value, to desire your expertise, to see you as the thought leaders or to be fully committed to you?  Once you have determined this it becomes the foundation to look at how you make the client "feel" this message.
2. Second, determine how you would like your clients to describe you.  For example in our organization we use the term "Lexus Mentality" to keep in mind that we always want to do things on the high end for our customers.
3. Third, determine the rhythm or atmosphere you would like to have in your office. Believe me, every office has a rhythm and atmosphere.  You can either manage it and have it work for you or let it define itself and thus manage you. You may determine that you want to feel like family, a community, a creative network, energetic, or calming are a few examples.  You should shape the energy and attitude you see in every person every day.
4. Fourth, think about the discipline you would like to see people have every day.  The mindset and behavior each person needs to exemplify should be listed in your principles and values.  These could include things such as no excuses, full accountability, accepts criticism openly and non-defensively, and meets deadlines and commitments.
5. Fifth, think about the long-term growth of the company and where you'd like to be positioned in the marketplace.  You should have a principle or value that aligns with the future vision of the company.  Are you going to be the best in the industry?  Are you going to be the leading cost-saver in the industry?  Are you going to be the fastest at delivery in the industry?  Think about what will differentiate you from all your competitors.

Probing questions are designed to peel back the layers to discover, uncover, excavate and explore what the other person is truly concerned about.

Notice how they are NOT judgmental, they don't ask yes or no questions, and how they cause the other person to share with you more about their THINKING.

"Tell me this..."

"Share with me how..."

 "If _____________ then I don't understand how/why..."        

"I'd like to brainstorm today with you..."

It might go something like this: "We have found that we can actually shorten processing times of claims by up to 20%. The savings in time will allow you greater flexibility in your job and reduce stress. In order to see how we can help you streamline the claims process, I need to ask a series of questions that will help me understand exactly how you process claims now and where we can streamline things for you. So why don't we start with the first few questions?"

Additional tips on how to match your presentation to your situation:

• Once you have a feeling (by looking around their office) of what may be most important to them, start by sharing with them how your product, service, or information will help them achieve that. For example, "Bill, I'm here today to share with you how our Four Step Process will help your salespeople win more sales. In order to do that I would like to briefly chat with you about some of the challenges that your salespeople face in trying to close sales."
• Right from the beginning of the meeting, listen carefully to the types of questions or statements they make. Do they ask you questions that seem to be about how your product, service, or information will give them greater stability? Better recognition in the marketplace? More control over their business environment? Or more accuracy in all that they do? Just focus on sharing information that shows how your product service or information gives them what they need.

This ability to fine-tune by listening carefully to what they are saying will help you to condense an hour-long discussion, leaving more time to talk about the key items for that person. Remember, people usually have only one or two things that they are hoping to learn during the conversation with you. Your job is to find out solely what those one or two things are. So stop talking and start listening to the other person.