Personal Note From Anne Warfield

Help! I'm all Stressed Out!! How many of you hear yourselves saying that, especially through the holidays? Here's three effective ways to relieve stress.

Be uniquely you
Do you know what is unique about you? Do you celebrate it or do you cover it up? Since part of my job is image, I have thought for years that I must have a pulled together look. So I have always had a basic black trench coat that looks elegant. And then I became pregnant and nothing fit around my waist anymore.

So I took my husband out shopping with me and he picked out a blazing orange coat for me. Now I know what you are thinking, "She must have looked like a walking pumpkin." And you are right, I did. But what I noticed most was how people smiled and started talking to me right away. Today I have a "Dalmatian" coat that I wear and whenever I travel I just tell people to look for "Cruella DeVil." It's a riot. It makes people smile.

So what makes you smile? What makes you have fun? Go do it today. What makes your decorations stand out? Your warm manner? Explode what is unique.

Communicate clearly
If there is one thing you pick up from this it should be this---most stress comes from our communication and 70% of it is self-produced! I want you to remember this when your together with your relatives for the holidays!

Outcome Thinking® is all about trying to communicate from a WE perspective instead of a ME perspective. I find we spend so much time trying to get people to understand what we meant and very little time trying to understand what they meant. In order to improve communication with others you need to make sure you are always conveying that you respect them as a person.

Bottom line, we all communicate very differently based on our experiences.

Positive Self Talk
Talking positive to yourself is crucial to your outlook. The way you talk to yourself is the way you talk to others. You need to redirect your critical voice since most of us tend to be our own worst enemy. Remember that your brain believes what it is told - Essentially your thoughts are to your brain what food is to your body. You are what you think.

Your brain listens subconsciously to your critical voice. If you possess a positive attitude your brain will always be searching subconsciously for solutions to problems you face, for it will assume a solution is possible. If you think negatively your mind will just shut down and accept your present situation.

At first positive self talk will feel strange. Don't worry - that is normal. Eventually it will become second nature to you. By utilizing positive self talk you're helping your brain "visualize" the results you desire.

To Achieve Peace and Reduce Your Stress You Must Possess A Positive Attitude.

So start each day with the clarity of what you want to give out that day, who you are and what you have to offer. Communicate clearly always conveying respect to the other person. Strength and peace of mind will come from your consistent and positive self talk that can't help but get stress out of your life.

The spirit of the holidays is to spread goodwill to all people everywhere. May you touch the lives of all around you this holiday with love and laughter.

-Anne

Outcome Thinking® training works to shift the brain from the defense to the offense allowing more focused, creative and effective long term solutions and outcomes. It will allow you to stay positively focused and in alignment with other's needs and perspective instead of lapsing into negative assumptions, and reacting from a limited and more narrow point of view. As a leader, you want to access your full brain power to creatively handle and address challenges and needs that arise and spark innovation.

Contact us at 888-imp-9421, visit www.impressionmanagement.com, or email us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Anne's Outcome Thinking® Insights

"Difference between Outcome Thinking® and Traditional Communication"

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Quotable Quotes

“We all have different talents, skills and blessings. Uncover your blessings and maximize your potential. ”

- Anonymous

Outcome Thinking^® Solution

How Can My Body Language Affect My Message As a Leader?

Situation:

I am an executive that participates and leads many meetings, interacts with clients and employees and am looked to for answers and direction. I want to be perceived as a strong and confident leader. How do I make sure that my body language matches that perception?

OUTCOME DESIRED:

As an executive it is crucial that your body language always matches your words so people correctly interpret what you said. If people have to chose between your body language and your words they will intuitively listen to their gut reaction to your body language, not your words.

HOW TO HANDLE:

Here are five quick tips on how to be perceived as a strong and confident leader:

1. Strong Stance- your weight should always be evenly balanced between both of your feet and your shoulders should be strong yet relaxed, not sloped. Your head should be straight on or as you listen it should be tilted and turned slightly. Slouching, such as President Bush did in the first debate, will be seen as lazy while rocking such as what Senator Kerry did, will come off as nervous and unsure.
2. Consistent Caring Eye Contact- you should make eye contact about 70% of the time with people. If your eye contact is more than that you may be seen as stern and not flexible. If your eye contact is less than 70% of the time, people may see you as weak and uncertain.
3. Reflexive Engaging Smile- if you are always smiling people will find it to be insincere. People expect you to make eye contact with them and then smile- hence the reflexive engaging smile. People should see it as a genuine response to a person or an event.
4. Encompassing Head and Eye Movement- When you speak to a group they want to see you look at each person in the room and draw people in to your eye contact as you ask questions. President Clinton was a master at this and made people feel he was giving great thought to questions that were asked and making people feel a part of the decision that was made. When you look straight on and make no head movement or engaging eye contact, it comes off as though you already made up your mind and that you don't care what the people in the room think about what you are saying or sharing with them.
5. Powerful Walk- Your walk should show that you know where you are going and that you are confident about the direction to take. This means you need to walk with a slight swing to your arms and a strong powerful stride. If you walk with your head down, it will be seen as weak and unsure. If you walk with a huge stride and lots of swinging of your arms it will be seen as cocky and arrogant. So the balance is in creating a stride that others can easily walk with you but has an uplifting swing with the arms and the shoulders squared with the head up.

Once you are perceived as a strong leader people are more willing to look for the good in the decisions that you make and allow you the grace of time to work things out to fruition. When people lack this confidence in the physical appearance of their leader, they begin to question EVERYTHING their leader does and scrutinizes it all under a microscope.

If you have ever doubted that, just compare how America reacted to President Reagan and President Roosevelt.

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Outcome Thinking^® Guest Column
Lighting your way with new perspectives!

20 Little-Known Body Language Signals and What Message They Send

We all know the basics of body language. A woman flipping her hair is good, a guy crossing his arms is bad, but surely that's not all there is. There are subtle body language signals we can pick up on the next time we're in a job interview or on a blind date. Keep your eyes peeled for these little-known body language signals for an inside look at how someone feels regarding a situation or subject.

Positive Body Language Signals

Next time you're looking for someone to take interest in you spot these positive body language signals that will give you an idea of where you stand.

1. Legs crossed inwards, towards you. Like an open hug, this body language says the person welcomes you and is listening to what you're seeing. When someone has their legs crossed inwards, it means they're giving you their full attention so feel free to ask questions and for feedback because the person is likely to be honest.
2. Open palms and hands. This means the person isn't feeling uptight or nervous. They're at ease and receptive towards what you're saying or presenting. This is a great body language signal to watch for during an interview or presentation.
3. Subtle eye contact. You may think that constant eye contact means you're in good company, but subtle eye contact is even better. Look for someone to lock eyes for a bit and then look away for body language that says they're open to what you're saying or doing.
4. Fidgeting lips. When you're on a date and want to know if the person is feeling you, take a look at their lips. Are they stagnant or constantly fidgeting around? If it's the latter, consider yourself in a good place as signs like licking or biting lips shows they are open to physical contact with you.
5. Dilated pupils. When a person is interested in a thing or person, their pupils naturally dilate. Keep watch for this when you're selling a product or trying to meet a mate. If you spot their pupils dilating, you know the person is receptive and definitely interested.
6. Facing your direction. A person who makes a point of facing your direction means they're interested in your or what you're saying. Often when someone is bored or disinterested, they're angled, only giving you a portion of their attention.
7. Mirroring your motions. On a date, a person may mirror your motions subconsciously, showing the two of you are intact and on the same wavelength. You may see them touch their face right after you touch yours, sip their drink immediately after you do or tilt their head in the same direction as yourself.
8. A subtle smile. We're trained to think that the bigger the smile, the more interested someone is in us, but this is hardly the case. Unfortunately, many people know that faking it can get them places and slap on a foolish grin when they need to seem interested. Instead look for a subtle smile that conveys a genuine interest.
9. Quick touching. This doesn't have to be sexual. Even a nurse or boss may gently touch you in a safe area such as the top of the arm. On a date, this safe area can be the arm, top of legs or back. There isn't any heavy petting going on, but rather a touch that shows concern from the other party.
10. Regular blinking. We aren't talking about excessive blinking that makes someone look like they're from another planet, but regular paced blinking that signifies a person is thoroughly listening to what you have to say.
11. Hand gestures. If your boss or date is going on and on while using hand gestures, this is a good thing. It shows he or she is enthusiastic about their intentions and wants you to get as excited or involved. This is especially true from reserved types who don't normally incorporate hand gestures when speaking.
12. Nodding. If a job interviewer or date is nodding along with what you're saying, they're likely giving you their full attention. Remember the eye contact should be subtle and their body should be facing you. Without these other elements they could be well-trained in the art of tuning folks out while seeming interested.

Negative Body Language

Keeping watch for these negative body language signals means it's time to take a new direction or re-evaluate the person you're accessing.

13. Blank stares. If you're giving a presentation or in a job interview and are receiving a blank stare, the game's over. This means your audience has tuned out and is likely intently thinking about something besides what's coming out of your mouth.
14. Very little eye contact. Some will inhabit the blank stare in an effort to look as if they're interested, but others won't bother and make very little eye contact, giving you the clear signal their minds are somewhere else. You can try to overcome this by making eye contact with the person and holding it for a few seconds in an attempt to reel them back in.
15. Interruptions. This one isn't so subtle, but a boss or date interrupting you can mean they're ready to move on to the next subject and have little interest in your input. If a person is repeatedly doing this (after all, some of interrupt when we're excited to share things), it's a clear indication that they're self-absorbed or at the very least, not interested in what you have to say.
16. A weak greeting. If someone offers a half-smile and limp handshake when meeting, it could mean they aren't interested in the date or their mind is in another place. You can try to salvage the meeting by offering a genuine smile, making eye contact and listening to what the person has to say. Also show enthusiasm in what you're discussing. Often this is enough to change a person's attitude for the time being, putting the ball in your court.
17. Hiding hands. Whether a person is stuffing their hands in their pockets, making fists or just concealing their hands because their arms are crossed, hidden hands are a sign of negative body language. It means the person is tense or nervous.
18. Posture that's severely at ease. While you don't want the other party to be completely uptight and tense, it's also negative if the person is slouching. This means the person's mind is elsewhere and they have little intention of retaining anything you're saying.
19. Shifting weight. If a person continuously readjusts themselves and shifts their weight, it can be a sign the person is becoming restless or bored with you. These days most people have a very short attention span, which means you have to make yourself heard and get to the point of what you're trying to say without losing the person's interest.
20. Long pauses and hesitation. When someone is lying, they may take a long pause to attempt and gather their thoughts for the lie. They can also buy time by hesitating and scratching their face or rubbing their eyes to make the pause less apparent.

The next time you're on a blind date or job interview, check for these positive and negative body language signals that can give you an inside look on what move to make next. Remember that reading someone's body language takes time, so don't over analyze what happens in the first five minutes of meeting someone. Study their words and know their motives, then put their body language into context for the best results.

Article as seen in masters in psychology, http://www.mastersinpsychology.net/20-little-known-body-language-signals-and-what-message-they-send.