Ezine Arcive

The Award-Winning Monthly Resource for Professionals

########################################################
OUTCOME FOCUS REPORT
Circulation 16,200
Vol 41 - February 13, 2003
Publisher: Anne Warfield
contact@imp.us.com
888-imp-9421 or 952-921-9421
http://www.impressionmanagement.com
c) Impression Management Professionals 2003
#########################################################


A special welcome to our many new subscribers from TEC, Marketing Seek,
World Wide and SelfImprovementNewsletters.com and our many other signup
partners.

By subscription only! 

Welcome!  Use as a training tool:  Present the situation to the group and
have them brainstorm how they would best handle the situation. Then share
the Outcome Focus answer and see how it relates or differs from solutions
the group found.

Go ahead and pass this to friends. If you receive this from a friend and
you want to receive your own copies, just email
mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com  ** and put "Add me" in the
subject line.

To remove yourself from this list see bottom of this email.

============================================================

IN THIS ISSUE 
============================================================


1) What's In The News - TeleSeminar
2) Outcome Focus Situation/Solution
3) Anne's Aha/Guest Article
4) What To Watch For Next Time 
5) Resources To Learn More


============================================================

1.      What's In The News?
============================================================
GREAT TELESEMINARS PRESENTS:

HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE YOURSELF AND YOUR COMPANY IN A TOUGH ECONOMY
By Anne Warfield, CSP
February 19, 2003,  2 p.m. EST
Cost $29

In today's economy you can't sit back and hope your client comes to you or
that your company notices you.

Instead learn how to be proactive with how you promote yourself, present
your company, and handle controversy.  This teleseminar may be the single
best investment you make.  Take one hour of time to find out how you can
launch yourself for 2003.

If how you project and communicate wasn't important than we would vote our
Presidents in only on the issues.  But the reality is that most people
comment on how the President projects himself with his body language,
voice tone, and words.

If how you present didn't matter, than you wouldn't constantly hear that
people aren't promoted because they don't have the "people skills."

If how you communicate wasn't persuasive, advertising would not be so
effective.

The question isn't whether this skill is valuable.  The question is
whether you will learn how to make it work for you!

Join Anne for this seminar and learn how to differentiate Yourself!

Order here for the teleseminar:
http://www.kickstartcart.com/app/netcart.asp?merchantid=38072&productid=1176151


LENGTH: 1 hour
COST:      $29
Time:         2 p.m. EST
Date:         February 19, 2003

Can't make it? We'll be taping. Cost: $29.
Click here to order the CD 
http://www.kickstartcart.com/app/netcart.asp?MerchantID=38072&ProductID=1176798


============================================================

2.     Here's This Months Outcome Focus Situation/Solution  
============================================================
How to maintain or change work relationships when you get promoted

You and three other women became close at work.  You all worked in the
same job, same level in the company. You went to lunch together.  They
have invited you to social events and you went one time with your
significant other but have been unable to go out with them since because
you live one hour away from work and they usually plan the outings for
Sundays at 4 PM.

You all created an email distribution so that you could chat together
during the day.  This email distribution is really more for chatting and
only occasionally about work.

You were recently promoted up a level.  Shortly after that promotion you
asked one day for them to exclude you from the Email distribution list
because you were working on an important spreadsheet and you couldn't be
interrupted.  You have also found your new job keeps you busy so you have
been unable to take breaks or do lunch with them.

They now won't speak to you and are giving you the cold shoulder.

OUTCOME DESIRED:

You would like to repair the relationship and be friends.

HOW BEST TO HANDLE:

UNDERSTAND THEIR PERSPECTIVE:
First, I would try to see the situation from their perspective.  They see
a good friend get promoted.  They are probably naturally excited for you.
They see that they too can be promoted so it is fun but it can also be
scary as they may be wondering, "How will this change us as a group?"

Most likely they are watching for signs that this promotion will or won't
change you or your view of them.  Here is what they see:

1.  You stopped attending social events.  In the past they probably saw
the reason why was because of the drive, now they probably see the why as
"you can't be bothered".  This would be especially true if the event you
attended was right prior to your promotion and your "I can't attend"
having been coming since your promotion.

2. You stopped taking breaks and going to lunch with them since your
promotion.

3.  You said that you were "working on an important project and couldn't
be interrupted" so you asked them to take you off the email distribution
list.  In their eyes, if it was just one day, why couldn't you just delete
or ignore the emails?  Or why couldn't you just say in an email "I won't
be able to partake in our chats today but I look forward to catching up
tomorrow?"

The fact you said "an important project and that you couldn't be
interrupted" can be taken as though you believe your work is superior to
theirs and now that you are in a more important position you can't dilly
dally in frivolous emails.

The bottom line is in their eyes you have changed.  You have drawn a line
that makes them feel inferior to you.

Now, that is not saying that was your intention at all.  I am guessing you
are conscientious and really want to do well in your new job.  And that
you are focused on doing your best.  This job also probably gives you new
challenges that you have not had before so it probably does require more
concentration than you had to apply in your last job.

So both sides have the best intentions but they are being misunderstood.

Here is what you need to do:

1.  If you want to be friends again in the same manner as before:

Invite them all to lunch saying, "I know I have not been a great friend
lately and I would really like to make it up to all of you.  I miss you
all and would love to go to lunch today if you are all free."

Then at lunch say, "I wanted to apologize to all of you.  I realize that
my asking to be taken off our email list that day and that my not being
able to go to breaks or lunch lately could make you feel that I don't want
to be a part of the group any more.  I do enjoy you all and I would like
to keep our friendship so I apologize if you have felt that wasn't the
case.  The problem I am running in to is that I am having less time to
take breaks or chat by email as I have in the past.  Please realize that
even if I can't do it as much as I have in the past I still really value
each one of you."

2.  If you want to be friends but you want to redefine the friendship:

Again invite them all to lunch using the above.

At lunch, "I realize that lately I may have seemed distant as I haven't
been able to do our email, go on our breaks, or go to lunch.  I also
realize that could make you feel I am being snotty since my new job.  That
hasn't been my intent.  I do value you all and I value our friendship. 
What I am struggling with is that I am unable to actually do the email, go
on breaks as often, or do lunch regularly as we did in the past.  Probably
the more I get to know my job, the more I will be able to do again but
right now I am learning so many new things that my time is getting
crunched.

I just wanted to talk with all of you because I didn't want you to think I
don't want to be friends.  You are important to me.  What is the best way
to handle this going forward?  I will probably not be able to email you
much so I don't want to frustrate you all by not responding.  Would it be
best to just drop me from the email loop so I don't frustrate you and then
we can catch up on breaks or at lunch?

3.  If after thinking about it, you feel the friendship is over but you
want a pleasant relationship:

Again invite them all to lunch and I recommend you treat them to lunch.

At lunch, "Look I would really like for us all to be friends.  The
struggle I am having is that I know I can't keep up with the email, do as
many breaks, or do as many lunches as we have in the past.  So what is the
best thing to do going forward?  I certainly don't want to frustrate all
of you and I realize that right now I may have.  I also realize you may
tell me that the emails, breaks and lunches are really important to you
and that if I can't do them all the time then you would rather I dropped
out of the group.  I just wanted you to all know that I do care about you
and value you so what is the best thing for us to do?"

Then let them talk.  Remain firm about not being able to do email.  They
may end the friendship but then it will be their choice so they will be
more socialable about it.

WHATEVER YOU DO please realize that in all three scenarios they may become
emotional, they may accuse you of "being too good for them".  You have to
remain subjective and realize they are talking from pain and from their
interpretation of the above events as I laid out in their perspective. 
You need to remain calm and let them know your intention was not to send
that message and you apologize if that is how you made them feel.


SPECIAL NOTE:

Send Anne your situation to be included in an upcoming E-zine.
mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com

************** Want To Perfect Your Skills? *************

Order Anne's Book, Outcome Thinking: Getting Results 
Without The Boxing Gloves for $24.95.

http://www.impressionmanagement.com/products.phtml

Save $5.00 when ordering online.  Just enter the Discount Code: IMP101
(all caps) when checking out.

============================================================
3.    Anne's "Aha"   
============================================================
Check out IMP's Upcoming Presentation Skills Seminar at the IMP Institute:

Outcome Focus Presentations Skills:
March 4-5, 2003, Learn more at
http://www.impressionmanagement.com/coaching.phtml
or,
email me at mailto:Paul@imp.us.com 

****************
Quotable Quotes:
****************
"The greatest need of every human being is the need for appreciation." 
William James

Who can you recognize and affirm today?

=============================================================

4.    NEXT TIME:  Another situation submitted by you.
=============================================================

Send Anne your situation for inclusion in the E-zine.
Email your situation to: mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com

=============================================================

5.    I Want More Resources So I Can Perfect My Skills
=============================================================


Products: Outcome Thinking Book $24.95 *
Outcome Thinking CD $49.95
Communicating More Effectively Book $14.95
(Body Language)
Body Language Video $99.95
Success Negotiating Audio Tape $14.95
GOALS Set $39.95

I WANT IT ALL: COMPLETE PACKAGE, Regularly $265. Special price for
Subscribers, $199.95, includes two free gifts.

Order Online: http://www.impressionmanagement.com/products.phtml

*SAVE $5.00 on Anne's Outcome Thinking Book
Type in the "Discount Code", IMP101 (All Caps)

=============================================================

FREE ARTICLES AND BACK ISSUES
=============================================================


We have many articles available for your publication, company newsletter,
etc.  Articles can be viewed at
http://www.impressionmanagement.com/articles/
 
All you have to do is print the article in its entirety along with the by
line at top and the credits, and complete contact information at the end
of each article.  I would appreciate a tear sheet or electronic copy too.

Email: mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com for a complete listing of
available articles.

Back Issues of the Outcome Focus E-zine can be viewed at
http://www.impressionmanagement.com/ezine/
 
=============================================================


If you are receiving this issue as a forward, and would like to get your
own free subscription, visit http://www.impressionmanagement.com to
subscribe.

PRIVACY STATEMENT: We will not distribute your address to anyone. Period.


=============================================================

About Anne and IMP
=============================================================


Anne Warfield, CSP*
President
Impression Management Professionals
7200 France Avenue South, Suite 224
Minneapolis, MN 55435
952-921-9421
888-imp-9421
952-921-9420 Fax
Email: mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com  **
Visit us at: http://www.impressionmanagement.com  

"A true leader is not one you look up to because they are the best. A true
leader is one that draws the best out in you." Anne Warfield

*CSP- Certified Speaking Professional; a designation held by only 7% of
all speakers nationwide

Member of the National Speakers Association

<<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> 

Copyright 2003, IMP. Feel free to share information you learn. All we ask
is that you credit us as the source as everything we are putting in here
is copyright protected by our office.

Copyright note: Submission of an e-mail message or artwork affirms that
you are able to and have given Anne Warfield non-exclusive permission to
reprint the content of your message in all forms, electronic or otherwise,
in all languages throughout the world.

Privacy Statement:  We will not distribute your address to anyone. Period.

If you received this from a friend and you want to receive your own
copies, just email mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com and put "Add
me" in the subject line.

To remove yourself from this mailing list, simply follow the instructions
at the end of this email.

or,

Forward a copy of this message to mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com
with the word remove in the subject line.
<<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>> <<<>>>