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The Award-Winning Monthly Resource for Professionals
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OUTCOME FOCUS REPORT
Circulation 12,100
Vol 36 - September 27, 2002
Publisher: Anne Warfield
contact@impressionmanagement.com
888-imp-9421 or 952-921-9421
http://www.impressionmanagement.com
c) Impression Management Professionals 2002
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By subscription only!
Welcome! Use as a training tool: Present the situation to the group and
have them brainstorm how they would best handle the situation. Then share
the Outcome Focus answer and see how it relates or differs from solutions
the group found.
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IN THIS ISSUE
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1) What's In The News
2) Outcome Focus Situation/Solution
3) Anne's Aha/Guest Article
4) What To Watch For Next Time
5) Resources To Learn More
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1. What's In The News?
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Outcome Focus Presentation Skills Seminar in Minnesota, Jan. 2003
Outcome Focus Presentation Skills Seminar in Florida, Feb. 2003
This class will show you how to present your ideas, thoughts, products
or services so people WANT to listen to you. You will learn how people
see you, how they hear you, how to say your message and how to deliver
your message. Learn to present within the Circle of Communication.
If you are interested, please email me and I will provide you with all the
details.
mailto:Paul@imp.us.com
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2. Here's This Months Outcome Focus Situation/Solution
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How To Handle A Hostile Co-worker
SITUATION: Dear Anne: A co-worker of mine at the same level as me seems
to dislike me in a large way. One day I wanted to work on my work
schedule in my computer and a computer message came up that said "Being
used by Sharon". She denied it to me but then later admitted to our boss,
that it was her. About a week ago, I heard her whispering to the
receptionist (when there was only the three of us here), and she said
abruptly "I want her out of here!!". Another situation; we all are
allowed to wear shorts to work if we are taking 1/2 day of vacation. Last
Friday, I had 1/2 day off, so I wore shorts and she went to the controller
extremely angry and said, "Send her home!" Our boss did not send me
home, but now Sharon is not talking to him or me. I asked him if she had
ever complained when he or the Vice President had worn shorts to work and
his reply was that she did not complain. She had told him that it is only
ME that she does not want wearing shorts to work, and that she dislikes me
very much. I do not work with her directly but I do sit nearby her in a
small business setting. Any advice that you could give me would be
greatly appreciated!
OUTCOME DESIRED: You want to end the hostility so you have a friendly
office environment.
HOW TO HANDLE: This situation could have many answers so I will start with
some questions to ask:
1. Have you and Sharon ever had a run in that could have made her feel you
showed her up or "put her in her place"? If so, then Sharon probably
feels judged by you and is attacking back or she feels you believe you are
better than her and she again feels judged.
2. Did Sharon have a spot in the small office as the one everyone came to
for answers and now you are filling that spot? If so, you are probably
dealing with jealousy.
3. Does your boss or others show favoritism to you? If so, again you are
dealing with jealousy.
4. Is Sharon just a negative person that has a chip on her shoulder about
everything or just you? If she has a chip on her shoulder her management
probably sees it as well.
If you truly believe you have not done anything that could make her feel
reprimanded or put out, than you are most likely dealing with a person
with a low self-esteem. This means that she will most likely twist around
in her mind everything you say so it seems as though you believe you are
better than her.
Best thing to do here is to be direct and try to get the turmoil to end.
You may want to share with your boss that you will be handling the
situation and that you hope the tension will end because you realize how
uncomfortable it makes everyone else in the office as well.
Make sure your body language is positive and strong when you approach her
but not over bearing. Go to a conference room, make good eye contact, and
keep your poise. Don't apologize (unless you have really intentionally
done something that could have set this ball rolling), be positive and
direct.
BEST PHRASED:
You can do either of these approaches, depending on whether you feel you
may have done something that may have set her off.
Ask Sharon if you can briefly speak to her privately. When alone, say,
"Sharon, I know we both want a good work environment and right now there
seems to be tension between us. What I would like to do is to find a way
for us to work better together. What do you need from me in order for us
to start fresh?"
OR
"Sharon, There seems to be a lot of tension between you and me and I am
not sure where it came from or how to turn it around. Can you share with
me what I may have done that has offended you or what you need from me in
order to work better together?"
Now realize that Sharon may try to dump it all on you. You need to remain
calm, poised, and if she attacks repeat the attacks back logically so it
is hard for her to argue with them.
For example: Sharon says, "Yes you have offended me. You have this high
and mighty attitude like you own the place. I am not your secretary."
You say, "Sharon, I never meant to make you feel like you are my
secretary. There are projects that we do need to do together. How would
you like me to work with you on those in the future and can you share what
I have done that makes you feel I see myself as better than you because I
certainly don't mean to make you feel that way."
SPECIAL NOTE:
Send Anne your situation to be included in an upcoming E-zine.
mailto:contact@imp.us.com
************** Want To Perfect Your Skills? *************
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Without The Boxing Gloves for $24.95.
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Save $5.00 when ordering online. Just enter the Discount Code: IMP101
(all caps) when checking out.
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3. Anne's "Aha"
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Guest Article by Susan Berkley
FOR BETTER BODY LANGUAGE PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
If you've ever taken a public speaking class where the presentations were
videotaped you've probably noticed that just about everyone has
distracting body language about which they are unaware ---hair twirling,
poor eye contact, fidgeting, flapping arms. We are often so completely
clueless about how we come across to others that seeing ourselves on video
can be quite a shock.
On my library shelf there is a little book called "Postures and Gestures".
It is written by a famous speech coach who has worked with executives at
some of the largest multinational companies, Postures and Gestures is
filled with photos illustrating the proper body language one should use to
express ideas: to show union interlace the fingers in front of the body;
to indicate separation make a chopping motion across an upturned palm; to
convey power clench your fist and so on.
The novice speaker might mistakenly believe that if he learns perfect body
language "by the book", no one will notice his flaws. But like a man with
a bad toupee, the audience can always tell when there is something we are
trying to hide.
A lack of awareness of our body language is a symptom of a greater lack of
awareness, a deeper disconnect within us. It's a symptom that shouldn't be
ignored or masked by cover-up techniques, but actually explored as an
opportunity for greater consciousness, deeper self-awareness.
Psychoanalyst Norberto R. Keppe, Ph.D. says in his new book "The Origin of
Illness " (Campbell Hall Press, $14.95, http://www.analyticaltrilogy.org
201-541-8595) that we are terrified of consciousness. We think the
perception of our problems, is dangerous. Yet even though we resist
consciousness and try to avoid looking at ourselves on tape, awareness is
still our most precious asset. Consciousness, even of something negative
and embarrassing, is a doorway within, the first step to correcting our
mistakes and perfecting our skills. And it is the only way we will keep
from making fools of ourselves.
So next time you have to give a talk, be brave and get out the video
camera. Tape your practice sessions and watch the playback with a friend.
What do you see about yourself that comes as a surprise? What are you
feeling inside? Are you overly concerned with looking good? Or are you
genuinely concerned with sharing something of value with the audience,
with giving others the best you have to give?
In public speaking as in life, the details of our body language-the way we
hold our hands or how we stand on stage--are insignificant in comparison
to the opportunity we have to better people's lives. When you get up to
speak, align yourself with goodness, truth and beauty first. Pay attention
to who you are on the inside, what you have to give, and then attend to
the external details. In speaking as in life, do not give the inferior
more attention than it deserves.
©Copyright 2002 Susan Berkley From "The Voice Coach" ezine by Susan
Berkley. reprinted with permission. For a free subscription visit
http://www.greatvoice.com. Susan Berkley is a professional speaker and
international communications expert. She is a top voiceover artist and
author of "Speak to Influence: How to unlock the hidden power of your
voice, " available at bookstores or from The Great Voice Company at
201-541-8595. 616 E. Palisades Ave., Englewood Cliffs, NJ 07632 USA
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Rank your Presentation Skills
http://www.impressionmanagement.com/news/article_2001_10_15_1232.html
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Quotable Quotes:
"Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is?" Frank Scully
With risk goes reward. Thomas Edison once said that 90% of all failures
would have succeeded if they'd kept on trying. Stretch a little today.
Reach a little further than you have before. Look for a new way to reach
the fruit.
======================================================
4. NEXT TIME: Another situation submitted by you.
======================================================
Send Anne your situation for inclusion in the E-zine.
Email your situation to: mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com
=======================================================
5. I Want More Resources So I Can Perfect My Skills
=======================================================
Products: Outcome Thinking Book $24.95 *
Communicating More Effectively Book $14.95
(Body Language)
Body Language Video $99.95
Success Negotiating Audio Tape $14.95
GOALS Set $39.95
I WANT IT ALL: COMPLETE PACKAGE, Regularly $215. Special price for
Subscribers, $149.95, includes two free gifts.
Order Online: http://www.impressionmanagement.com/products.phtml
*SAVE $5.00 on Anne's Outcome Thinking Book
Type in the "Discount Code", IMP101 (All Caps)
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FREE ARTICLES AND BACK ISSUES
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About Anne and IMP
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Anne Warfield, CSP*
President
Impression Management Professionals
7200 France Avenue South, Suite 224
Minneapolis, MN 55435
952-921-9421
888-imp-9421
952-921-9420 Fax
Email: mailto:contact@impressionmanagement.com **
Visit us at: http://www.impressionmanagement.com
"A true leader is not one you look up to because they are the best. A true
leader is one that draws the best out in you." Anne Warfield
*CSP- Certified Speaking Professional; a designation held by only 7% of
all speakers nationwide
Member of the National Speakers Association
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