Posts Tagged ‘outcome thinking’

How to deal with a person that says one thing to your face and another behind your back? Or the person that says yes but then runs when things get tough

Friday, December 9th, 2011

First, get rid of the idea that the other person is doing this to attack you. Most likely it has nothing to do with you, but instead is driven by their own fear. So instead, try to think about what they might be so scared of losing that they would fight to protect it.

Apply Outcome Thinking® and try to think about the situation from the other person’s perspective. Why may they not feel safe telling you up front what they’re really thinking? Your job is to make it a safe environment for them to share their thoughts with you.

If the person is a Connector, this means you need to reassure them that you would like to hear their true thoughts even if they feel they are ones you might not want to hear right now. It also means you cannot blow up or get angry on the spot. Either of those reactions will immediately shut a Connector down.

If the person is actually being devious (and you would know this because what they are saying behind your back is malicious), you need to address them with what you heard. Make sure that you do it in a straightforward manner, sticking only with the facts, and that you do not jeopardize anyone that confided in you.

The discussion may go something like this: “Jane, when you and I met on Friday, we agreed that all account information would be put into the database. I am now hearing that you feel that putting that information in is ridiculous and that you have no intention of doing it. I wanted to talk directly with you so we could sort this out and make sure that we are in agreement. Jane, I will always do you the courtesy of speaking directly to you, and I expect the same from you. So let’s talk this through.” At that point keep your mouth shut and let the other person talk so you can find out the reasoning behind what they are saying. By adding the line that you will “always give the courtesy of speaking directly” with Jane, and that you expect the same in return, it lets her know you will not tolerate her going behind your back.

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Posted in Corporate Leadership training, Corporate Sales Training, Executive Presentation Skills, Leadership Presentation, Presentation Skills, Presentation Skills Solutions | No Comments »

Presentation Skills to Avoid Misinterpretation: How To Use Active Listening To Hear What Is Meant

Friday, July 9th, 2010

Have you ever had someone tell you what needs to be done only to find out later that what they meant and what you heard were not the same thing? This listening but not hearing phenomenon happens more frequently then you think.

The reason it happens is your brain is designed to protect you. So the entire time someone is talking with you, your brain is trying to figure out what they mean, why they want it and how it fits with what else is on your plate.  While all of those thoughts are going on, your brain is also INTERPRETING what they say through your own past experiences.  So if someone says to you, “I want to keep it simple since people don’t have a lot of time.” Your brain will immediately move to what you interpret “simple” to mean which could be completely off the mark.

So here is how to end endless hours of pain by not understanding what is wanted upfront:

1. Have the person clarify all vague words.  Don’t allow ANY assumptions in to the conversation or you are going down a dangerous path.

2. If you have frequent misinterpretations with a person, then at the end of the conversation tell them you want to put a short “dry” run together and meet with them for 15 minutes to make sure you are on track before you start.  Then go back and do a quick overview of what you will do and how it will meet the goal.  Keep it simple to a one page sheet. When you meet with them ask them what you have missed or what are any problems that they see with what you pulled together.  If you have questions, have a simple list of them ready to go.

3. When clarifying things, avoid yes or no questions and instead use questions that cause them to explain more fully.  Who, what, why, where, and how questions usually get them to flush things out more fully.

Take Action: 

In this next week just try and notice how many times you and others use “vague” words.  Try to eliminate and replace all vague words in your dialogue to concrete words so there can be no misinterpretation.

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Posted in Presentation Skills Solutions | 7 Comments »

Presentation Skills: How to Know What Details To Put In & What To Throw Out

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

When putting a presentation or discussion together, your brain will try to have you put in everything but the kitchen sink.  This is because your brain is designed to protect you so it believes MORE is BETTER.

The reality is that in sales, people buy only 20% on your product knowledge, the rest they are buying from is how you make them feel.  For leaders, your team acts quickly and as a unit when the instructions are easy to follow and they see directly why it impacts them.

So here is your easy rule of thumb of what to put in and what to toss out:

Toss out

1. Details that show “Here is what I did” without sharing the “This is why it is relevant”.  They don’t need to know what you have done but they do need to know the impact or result from it.

2. Details that can cause them to say, “Wwait a minute”.  Don’t bring up problems or side tracks if they aren’t relevant to what needs to happen.

When to Put Details In

1. If they will help diffuse any controversy as to why you are doing what you are doing.  People need to know you have looked at all sides of the issue.  This would have benefited President Obama when he was first trying to implement his health care reform. Since he didn’t do it right upfront, people wonder if he has looked at all sides of the issue

2. If they will help the participants get more CLARITY on what they are to do or why they are to do it.

If you are in doubt, throw it out.  Simplicity is best when you want to move people to action.

Take Action: This week take a presentation or email and hack away at it to get it to its core message.  You will be surprised how much more you are heard when you say less!

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Posted in Presentation Skills Solutions | 20 Comments »